Jakob’s Dictionary entry three: Realisation

Jakob lost his battle with cancer on March 4, 2016 aged 15. Below is the final piece he wrote for I Am Youth before his passing. With the Pyatt family’s permission, we are publishing it in his memory a year later.

Jakob lost his battle with cancer on March 4, 2016 aged 15. Below is the final piece he wrote for I Am Youth before his passing. With the Pyatt family’s permission, we are publishing it in his memory a year later.

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Realisation, when you finally catch up to the meaning of what’s been said, or the action that involves you.

When the penny drops.

When reality punches you in the face.

My reality is death, the inevitable. These are all words that are flowing through me. These are all words that haunt my mind like a kid at the lolly shop window or dirt on a coffin lid.

What do you find?

This may seem a bit off topic but I think that blondes , like myself, are a step ahead.

When I realised that I was dying I cried. Not like the crying emoji, I bawled. Angry, frustrated, pissed off, disappointed — in myself, the world, God, society, but not for the reasons you think.

I was angry at myself for not giving enough, not doing enough to help others.

I was angry at the world for setting a bar for me, although I jumped over it.

I am after all a legend.

I was angry at God for not giving me more time to do his work, and to help him. I’m not a saint.

I was also disappointed I didn’t get more time to live, but I’ve realised I also have more time left. I can still do stuff. I will do stuff, expect more world.

Watch out, I am coming.

The last message I have is this. You only live once (YOLO.)

What does YOLO mean? It doesn’t mean you throw your life away with ill conceived decisions that you will regret.

You do only live once. You never know when or why you might leave it.

Make sure that the life you will live is good and full.

‘J-Legend’ 24.05.2000 - 04.03.2016

Realisation, when you finally catch up to the meaning of what’s been said, or the action that involves you.

When the penny drops.

When reality punches you in the face.

My reality is death, the inevitable. These are all words that are flowing through me. These are all words that haunt my mind like a kid at the lolly shop window or dirt on a coffin lid.

What do you find?

This may seem a bit off topic but I think that blondes , like myself, are a step ahead.

When I realised that I was dying I cried. Not like the crying emoji, I bawled. Angry, frustrated, pissed off, disappointed — in myself, the world, God, society, but not for the reasons you think.

I was angry at myself for not giving enough, not doing enough to help others.

I was angry at the world for setting a bar for me, although I jumped over it.

I am after all a legend.

I was angry at God for not giving me more time to do his work, and to help him. I’m not a saint.

I was also disappointed I didn’t get more time to live, but I’ve realised I also have more time left. I can still do stuff. I will do stuff, expect more world.

Watch out, I am coming.

The last message I have is this. You only live once (YOLO.)

What does YOLO mean? It doesn’t mean you throw your life away with ill conceived decisions that you will regret.

You do only live once. You never know when or why you might leave it.

Make sure that the life you will live is good and full.

‘J-Legend’ 24.05.2000 - 04.03.2016

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