The first love issue

“I met him through a friend. I thought he was the sensible, silent type and he was slightly disconnected from the group which intrigued me. I found his number and texted him anonymously, and gave him a hint that it was me, but he didn’t know because he’s clueless.

“Eventually I told him, and we talked for about a year before we started dating. When I realised I was in love with him it felt amazing. We’re still together after nearly three years.” — 17.

~

“We met at a rugby game when he was playing and I was like “hey ...”

"He was a douchebag when I first met him but I thought he was good-looking. We started talking and had a thing for six months until I found out he was chatting up my best friend, so I stopped talking to him and we became distant.

“After some time, we sorted9 it out and I forgave him. For three years we wanted to start a relationship but because of all the stuff that had happened between us, we both had a lot of trust issues. But he kept trying and I loved him for that. Realising I was in love was the best feeling ever. We ended up dating and have been together for over a year.” — 16.

~

“We met through a mutual friend group. I thought they were really weird at first but really smart. I was a little intimidated to be in their presence. We hung out in town quite a bit and eventually we ended up in a relationship. We had the same interests and we were very much alike in personality. He knew how to make me laugh.

“When I realised I loved him, I felt nervous. I don’t like catching feelings for people and I was nervous that he didn’t feel the same way and just awkward in general. The ending didn’t involve too much disagreement, but it was still painful for both of us. However, I’m glad we still talk.” — 16.

~

“When I first met him at the beach I thought he was cocky but he had an air of mystery about him. We started talking and hanging out, and I started falling in love. I don’t trust people very easily so I felt like I was still concealing a lot. It got two months down the track and because it was a fairly private relationship, when I ended up telling my friend about it, she said that he was seeing someone else.

“I felt so deceived. I thought I knew who they were and I ended up being just completely and utterly broken.

"Everyone told me not to go there with him but I felt like I was the only person that really knew him on a deeper level. I decided to go with my gut feeling ... and my gut feeling was stupid. I was waiting for Ashton Kutcher to jump out and say; “you’ve been punked!”

"I didn’t tell him that I knew for a little while and then I got drunk at a party and had a go at him, and the girl who he was sleeping with was there. I was utterly broken and I swore I would never let someone hurt me like that again. I feel like I have managed to find love again, but it’s ... different. It’s a very complicated love that doesn’t have the same purity and level of trust that I had for my first.” — 17.

~

“We met through a friend at school. My first impression was that they were weird but in a good way. They were the type of person I’d never hung out with before and it intrigued me how different they were. We both had a crush on each other but didn’t know how to approach it, and both ended up separately confiding in our friend about it. They got us together.

"We have the same values and morals, and because of the amount of time we’ve spent as a couple, our bond has grown really strong. We shared lots of experiences together.

“When I realised I loved them, it was a really strong, strange, overwhelming feeling. I have been in relationships before but never felt that way. We are still together after three years, and I feel like I will have a future with them.” — 17.

~

“I was really antisocial and in one of my classes, these girls would always come up and talk to me and my mate.

"One of them had a crush on him, so the other would always end up talking to me. After a while they started dragging me around with them at lunch and the more I was around them, the more I guess I started liking her. Originally I thought she was loud and bossy and didn’t understand personal space. Plus, she had terrible taste in music. But she was pretty and kind and understanding when she wasn’t being annoying, and after a while we ended up together.

“I fell hard for her because she kept nagging me. She made me open up and at some point I started enjoying myself. I’m not going to say anything sappy like the 'heavens opened', or something. When I realised I loved her I was annoyed. Really annoyed, because I didn’t want to like anyone. It wasn’t meant to be. I got boring or something and they talked to someone else that lead to something else, and we broke up. We now pretend the other person doesn’t exist.” — 16.

~

“We met through music. Ever since our first encounter I’ve liked him. Initially I thought he was too good for me. I had a lot of insecurities, and I doubted that someone like him would date someone like me. However we were still really close friends. Because of that, I thought I stood a chance but he started seeing another girl and that broke my heart, to see him with her. Especially because I knew I loved him. I feel like people will think I don’t know what it’s like to love someone; but I do.

“I had two years of getting to know him; two years of learning how deeply kind, compassionate, and passionate he is. Even though I had lost hope, they broke up because he realised that she was wrong for him. We ended up getting together and he fell in love with me. Now after a year, he still drives me crazy.” — 17.

~

“We met in primary school and I thought he was ugly. Years later we ended up reconnecting at a party. We started messaging and hanging out more, and he asked me to be his girlfriend.

“When I realised I loved him, I was like 'this is going to end terribly', and it did. I still have feelings for him and wish I didn’t. I don’t really want to look for love again; not for a while anyway. That one kind of crushed everything in me.” — 17.

~

“Well I kinda knew her for a little while and when she turned up to my work, where her friend also worked. I thought she was bossy and I was a really shy guy. She was real sporty and involved. We got to know each other better through our mutual friends. She used to live out the back entrance of school and I used to park on that side. One day she asked if I wanted to walk around to the school entrance with her. She confessed that she liked me and I liked her too. She was the first person who said they liked me and I just rolled with it. She said she loved me over text, and I didn’t know how to react so I didn’t say anything. She was really cut up at me the next day for not saying it back, so I just spun a yarn to say that I meant to say it to her in person and that saved me.

“I did love her though but when I realised that, it was a strange mixed feeling but I just went with the flow. We were together for four years and then she decided to move away for study because she couldn’t do long distance. Next minute, she had another boyfriend from the same town as me that I introduced her to. I was the instigator of my own demise. It turned out pretty sweet in the end though, because now I’m engaged to an ugly girl whom I despise.”

(Interviewee’s fiancee is sitting next to us). — 24.

“I met him through a friend. I thought he was the sensible, silent type and he was slightly disconnected from the group which intrigued me. I found his number and texted him anonymously, and gave him a hint that it was me, but he didn’t know because he’s clueless.

“Eventually I told him, and we talked for about a year before we started dating. When I realised I was in love with him it felt amazing. We’re still together after nearly three years.” — 17.

~

“We met at a rugby game when he was playing and I was like “hey ...”

"He was a douchebag when I first met him but I thought he was good-looking. We started talking and had a thing for six months until I found out he was chatting up my best friend, so I stopped talking to him and we became distant.

“After some time, we sorted9 it out and I forgave him. For three years we wanted to start a relationship but because of all the stuff that had happened between us, we both had a lot of trust issues. But he kept trying and I loved him for that. Realising I was in love was the best feeling ever. We ended up dating and have been together for over a year.” — 16.

~

“We met through a mutual friend group. I thought they were really weird at first but really smart. I was a little intimidated to be in their presence. We hung out in town quite a bit and eventually we ended up in a relationship. We had the same interests and we were very much alike in personality. He knew how to make me laugh.

“When I realised I loved him, I felt nervous. I don’t like catching feelings for people and I was nervous that he didn’t feel the same way and just awkward in general. The ending didn’t involve too much disagreement, but it was still painful for both of us. However, I’m glad we still talk.” — 16.

~

“When I first met him at the beach I thought he was cocky but he had an air of mystery about him. We started talking and hanging out, and I started falling in love. I don’t trust people very easily so I felt like I was still concealing a lot. It got two months down the track and because it was a fairly private relationship, when I ended up telling my friend about it, she said that he was seeing someone else.

“I felt so deceived. I thought I knew who they were and I ended up being just completely and utterly broken.

"Everyone told me not to go there with him but I felt like I was the only person that really knew him on a deeper level. I decided to go with my gut feeling ... and my gut feeling was stupid. I was waiting for Ashton Kutcher to jump out and say; “you’ve been punked!”

"I didn’t tell him that I knew for a little while and then I got drunk at a party and had a go at him, and the girl who he was sleeping with was there. I was utterly broken and I swore I would never let someone hurt me like that again. I feel like I have managed to find love again, but it’s ... different. It’s a very complicated love that doesn’t have the same purity and level of trust that I had for my first.” — 17.

~

“We met through a friend at school. My first impression was that they were weird but in a good way. They were the type of person I’d never hung out with before and it intrigued me how different they were. We both had a crush on each other but didn’t know how to approach it, and both ended up separately confiding in our friend about it. They got us together.

"We have the same values and morals, and because of the amount of time we’ve spent as a couple, our bond has grown really strong. We shared lots of experiences together.

“When I realised I loved them, it was a really strong, strange, overwhelming feeling. I have been in relationships before but never felt that way. We are still together after three years, and I feel like I will have a future with them.” — 17.

~

“I was really antisocial and in one of my classes, these girls would always come up and talk to me and my mate.

"One of them had a crush on him, so the other would always end up talking to me. After a while they started dragging me around with them at lunch and the more I was around them, the more I guess I started liking her. Originally I thought she was loud and bossy and didn’t understand personal space. Plus, she had terrible taste in music. But she was pretty and kind and understanding when she wasn’t being annoying, and after a while we ended up together.

“I fell hard for her because she kept nagging me. She made me open up and at some point I started enjoying myself. I’m not going to say anything sappy like the 'heavens opened', or something. When I realised I loved her I was annoyed. Really annoyed, because I didn’t want to like anyone. It wasn’t meant to be. I got boring or something and they talked to someone else that lead to something else, and we broke up. We now pretend the other person doesn’t exist.” — 16.

~

“We met through music. Ever since our first encounter I’ve liked him. Initially I thought he was too good for me. I had a lot of insecurities, and I doubted that someone like him would date someone like me. However we were still really close friends. Because of that, I thought I stood a chance but he started seeing another girl and that broke my heart, to see him with her. Especially because I knew I loved him. I feel like people will think I don’t know what it’s like to love someone; but I do.

“I had two years of getting to know him; two years of learning how deeply kind, compassionate, and passionate he is. Even though I had lost hope, they broke up because he realised that she was wrong for him. We ended up getting together and he fell in love with me. Now after a year, he still drives me crazy.” — 17.

~

“We met in primary school and I thought he was ugly. Years later we ended up reconnecting at a party. We started messaging and hanging out more, and he asked me to be his girlfriend.

“When I realised I loved him, I was like 'this is going to end terribly', and it did. I still have feelings for him and wish I didn’t. I don’t really want to look for love again; not for a while anyway. That one kind of crushed everything in me.” — 17.

~

“Well I kinda knew her for a little while and when she turned up to my work, where her friend also worked. I thought she was bossy and I was a really shy guy. She was real sporty and involved. We got to know each other better through our mutual friends. She used to live out the back entrance of school and I used to park on that side. One day she asked if I wanted to walk around to the school entrance with her. She confessed that she liked me and I liked her too. She was the first person who said they liked me and I just rolled with it. She said she loved me over text, and I didn’t know how to react so I didn’t say anything. She was really cut up at me the next day for not saying it back, so I just spun a yarn to say that I meant to say it to her in person and that saved me.

“I did love her though but when I realised that, it was a strange mixed feeling but I just went with the flow. We were together for four years and then she decided to move away for study because she couldn’t do long distance. Next minute, she had another boyfriend from the same town as me that I introduced her to. I was the instigator of my own demise. It turned out pretty sweet in the end though, because now I’m engaged to an ugly girl whom I despise.”

(Interviewee’s fiancee is sitting next to us). — 24.

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