Yellow’s skills fall short in the vege bin

Gisborne couple Amy Moore and Stu Watts. File picture

Scenes The Block NZ producers should have left on the editing floor:

  • The nightmare-inducing sequence of Stu’s builder crack.
  • The nuclear fallout of Stu farting in bed.
  • Seventy-five percent of host Mark Richardson’s excruciatingly naff puns.

But those contenders were ejected into oblivion by a “poo-pipe” incident that saw the reality TV series literally reach new depths of toilet humour in last night’s episode.

A blocked pipe, or “blockage on The Block”, in the house 3 renovation by Team Purple’s Chlo and Em, required the services of a tradie worth their weight in beer . . . the plumber.

What followed as this pooper-hero (sorry, Richardson’s clearly rubbing off) sawed his way into a pipe should have received an R-rating as the offending material came pouring out, on to the floor and bits even ending up on his face.

“Everybody has literally seen our s..t on The Block,” bemoaned a dry-retching Em.

Absolutely . . . and only the onset of senility, a hypnotherapy session or suppressed denial can erase it for we, the viewers.

What it did show, however, was a legitimate reason why plumbers, at times, charge like a rhino on meth.

It also aptly summed up a recurring theme on The Block — the s..t hitting the fan.

Drama skips hand-in-hand with work on the Hobsonville site of The Block NZ, where four teams, including Gizzy Hard pair Amy Moore and Stu Watts, are deep into week 4’s room reno — the upstairs landing.

Team Yellow’s Amy and Stu have won all three Sunday Room Reveals so far, adding $5000 to their budget for each win and rising to “Enemy No.1” on their opponents’ “take-down” list.

“How to stop the old farts winning,” Chlo ponders. “I think it’s gone straight to their heads.”

“Someone needs to beat them. I don’t care who it is,” implores Agni.

It could well be Yellow themselves.

Simplicity in design, team-work and vastly superior creative styling have been Stu and Amy’s not-so-secret weapons, but this week they have upped the design stakes and it is costing them time. They are now in serious catch-up mode and for the first time face the risk of their room not being ready.

“There’s going to be a little bit of extra work to do on the Friday than we have had in the previous week,” acknowledges Yellow’s builder Dave Wallace.

“It’s going to be a long day,” says Stu.

But while the tick of their clock is getting louder, the pressure on Team Blue’s Ben and Tom has reached deep-sea diving intensity.

The boys have copped the wrath of Block site supervisor Peter “Wolf” Wolfkamp over health and safety issues he has slammed as “completely unacceptable”.

“Nobody seems to care that somebody could die,” he says.

The Wolf imposes a two-hour tools-down penalty on Team Blue, who have already been up against it, with Ben stood down for 48 hours after suffering mild concussion in a night-time collision with a plank.

Last night also saw a TV crew let “behind the curtain”, where’s Amy’s “secret design process” goes on — where she says “the magic happens”.

It’s all about “bringing the room alive . . . trying my best to put as much as my flavour in it as I can.”

That’s been a winning philosophy so far and she still has some “tricks up my sleeve”.

A game-changer challenge required one member from each team to create a portrait of their other half using fruit and vegetables.

The winner earned an hour of free labour from each of the last-placed team and the chance to take one point off the score of another team at Room Reveal.

You get the feeling after Stu and Amy’s challenge double success so far this week, that they were not going to make it a hat-trick.

“That isn’t Amy,” says Richardson, who decided the placings. “That’s a tossed salad. I would definitely eat the evidence.”

Amy begs to differ when later shown it.

“That so looks like me — it’s amazing.”

Chlo wins the challenge and, surprise, surprise, Stu is last and faces an hour of sanding for the Purple girls.

The episode ends with the infamous poo-nami and a shock-horror promo for Sunday’s Room Reveal, which a Richardson voiceover says will feature “the biggest scandal in Block NZ history” . . . and judging by the footage, it involves Team Yellow.

Scenes The Block NZ producers should have left on the editing floor:

  • The nightmare-inducing sequence of Stu’s builder crack.
  • The nuclear fallout of Stu farting in bed.
  • Seventy-five percent of host Mark Richardson’s excruciatingly naff puns.

But those contenders were ejected into oblivion by a “poo-pipe” incident that saw the reality TV series literally reach new depths of toilet humour in last night’s episode.

A blocked pipe, or “blockage on The Block”, in the house 3 renovation by Team Purple’s Chlo and Em, required the services of a tradie worth their weight in beer . . . the plumber.

What followed as this pooper-hero (sorry, Richardson’s clearly rubbing off) sawed his way into a pipe should have received an R-rating as the offending material came pouring out, on to the floor and bits even ending up on his face.

“Everybody has literally seen our s..t on The Block,” bemoaned a dry-retching Em.

Absolutely . . . and only the onset of senility, a hypnotherapy session or suppressed denial can erase it for we, the viewers.

What it did show, however, was a legitimate reason why plumbers, at times, charge like a rhino on meth.

It also aptly summed up a recurring theme on The Block — the s..t hitting the fan.

Drama skips hand-in-hand with work on the Hobsonville site of The Block NZ, where four teams, including Gizzy Hard pair Amy Moore and Stu Watts, are deep into week 4’s room reno — the upstairs landing.

Team Yellow’s Amy and Stu have won all three Sunday Room Reveals so far, adding $5000 to their budget for each win and rising to “Enemy No.1” on their opponents’ “take-down” list.

“How to stop the old farts winning,” Chlo ponders. “I think it’s gone straight to their heads.”

“Someone needs to beat them. I don’t care who it is,” implores Agni.

It could well be Yellow themselves.

Simplicity in design, team-work and vastly superior creative styling have been Stu and Amy’s not-so-secret weapons, but this week they have upped the design stakes and it is costing them time. They are now in serious catch-up mode and for the first time face the risk of their room not being ready.

“There’s going to be a little bit of extra work to do on the Friday than we have had in the previous week,” acknowledges Yellow’s builder Dave Wallace.

“It’s going to be a long day,” says Stu.

But while the tick of their clock is getting louder, the pressure on Team Blue’s Ben and Tom has reached deep-sea diving intensity.

The boys have copped the wrath of Block site supervisor Peter “Wolf” Wolfkamp over health and safety issues he has slammed as “completely unacceptable”.

“Nobody seems to care that somebody could die,” he says.

The Wolf imposes a two-hour tools-down penalty on Team Blue, who have already been up against it, with Ben stood down for 48 hours after suffering mild concussion in a night-time collision with a plank.

Last night also saw a TV crew let “behind the curtain”, where’s Amy’s “secret design process” goes on — where she says “the magic happens”.

It’s all about “bringing the room alive . . . trying my best to put as much as my flavour in it as I can.”

That’s been a winning philosophy so far and she still has some “tricks up my sleeve”.

A game-changer challenge required one member from each team to create a portrait of their other half using fruit and vegetables.

The winner earned an hour of free labour from each of the last-placed team and the chance to take one point off the score of another team at Room Reveal.

You get the feeling after Stu and Amy’s challenge double success so far this week, that they were not going to make it a hat-trick.

“That isn’t Amy,” says Richardson, who decided the placings. “That’s a tossed salad. I would definitely eat the evidence.”

Amy begs to differ when later shown it.

“That so looks like me — it’s amazing.”

Chlo wins the challenge and, surprise, surprise, Stu is last and faces an hour of sanding for the Purple girls.

The episode ends with the infamous poo-nami and a shock-horror promo for Sunday’s Room Reveal, which a Richardson voiceover says will feature “the biggest scandal in Block NZ history” . . . and judging by the footage, it involves Team Yellow.

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