Mother Nature at work

LETTER

I bet greenies and their ilk are outraged at the discovery of “Plastic Island”. It’s in the news just now and is situated somewhere pretty much in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. The island’s real name is Henderson Island, it is uninhabited and covers around 50 square kilometres of the earth’s surface. Amazingly it is a Unesco world heritage site. How on earth did Unesco discover this island?

Henderson Island is absolutely in the middle of nowhere and amounts to no more than a needle in a haystack. No matter, I hear there are around 36 million bits of plastic flotsam on the beach and I’m sure this only accounts for the visible bits. There will be billions of microscopic plastic particles in/on the beach no doubt.

At first I wasn’t sure if this colourful eyesore should be referred to as flotsam or jetsam. A cursory search of flotsam and jetsam via Mr Google reveals heaps of poncey websites each endeavouring to part the upmarket liberal progressive from their easily won cash. Seems F&J are the same thing, with flotsam being lost at sea and jetsam being thrown away. The result is the same, but I digress.

Anyway, I think we should all be most grateful to Mother Nature. Not only has she provided the means for us to enrich our lives, she has also provided a means of disposing of the inevitable waste our civilisation creates. A giant plughole in the middle of the bathtub (Pacific Ocean) draws all our crap (floaters) to one place where we can easily scoop it up and put it somewhere else if we so desire.

Of course it could also be turned into useful things like bicycles and knitting yarn.

I trust Greenpeace is organising a clean-up operation to the island as I write. Can you imagine Greenpeace’s party to celebrate a successful clean-up? Arriving on their push bikes and as they dance around in their hand-knitted clothes, they would be overjoyed in the knowledge that their efforts would be leaving no carbon footprint for a change.

John Fricker

I bet greenies and their ilk are outraged at the discovery of “Plastic Island”. It’s in the news just now and is situated somewhere pretty much in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. The island’s real name is Henderson Island, it is uninhabited and covers around 50 square kilometres of the earth’s surface. Amazingly it is a Unesco world heritage site. How on earth did Unesco discover this island?

Henderson Island is absolutely in the middle of nowhere and amounts to no more than a needle in a haystack. No matter, I hear there are around 36 million bits of plastic flotsam on the beach and I’m sure this only accounts for the visible bits. There will be billions of microscopic plastic particles in/on the beach no doubt.

At first I wasn’t sure if this colourful eyesore should be referred to as flotsam or jetsam. A cursory search of flotsam and jetsam via Mr Google reveals heaps of poncey websites each endeavouring to part the upmarket liberal progressive from their easily won cash. Seems F&J are the same thing, with flotsam being lost at sea and jetsam being thrown away. The result is the same, but I digress.

Anyway, I think we should all be most grateful to Mother Nature. Not only has she provided the means for us to enrich our lives, she has also provided a means of disposing of the inevitable waste our civilisation creates. A giant plughole in the middle of the bathtub (Pacific Ocean) draws all our crap (floaters) to one place where we can easily scoop it up and put it somewhere else if we so desire.

Of course it could also be turned into useful things like bicycles and knitting yarn.

I trust Greenpeace is organising a clean-up operation to the island as I write. Can you imagine Greenpeace’s party to celebrate a successful clean-up? Arriving on their push bikes and as they dance around in their hand-knitted clothes, they would be overjoyed in the knowledge that their efforts would be leaving no carbon footprint for a change.

John Fricker

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Bob Hughes - 2 months ago
John Fricker is absolutely wrong. We should not be grateful because civilization?s inevitable waste ends up in the middle of nowhere?
Henderson Island, although tiny by our standards, is one of the only two raised coral atolls left on earth. It nurtures a remarkable diversity of wildlife. It claims 51 indigenous flowering plants, four species of land birds and many identified insects and gastropods found nowhere else on our planet.
Whatever damage we humans inflict upon her vital web of life, we inflict upon ourselves.

Martin Hanson - 2 months ago
I am astounded by John Fricker's letter. If he has any regard for nature, he keeps it very well hidden. If Mr Fricker's letter represents any more than a microscopic proportion of public opinion, I feel despair for the future of our planetary home.