Tauawhi Men’s Centre organised ‘Call to Men’ Hui in Tokomaru Bay to support men who want to change

CREATING a safe space for men who are wanting to change was the goal of a three-day hui in Tokomaru Bay organised by Tauawhi Men’s Centre.

The “call to men” hui was organised by Papa Rau (Ralph Walker) after having a kōrero with his close friend Baye Riddell.

The kaupapa attracted more than 100 to the hui, which was at Pakirikiri Marae in Tokomaru Bay.

They came from Moerewa, Kaikohe, Whangārei, Auckland, Manawatu, Wellington, Hamilton, and Whanganui, joining the men from Tauawhi and Tairāwhiti.

The intention was  to provide a safe space for men on a journey of change, to be inspired by those who have made changes, to be enlightened about the impacts of violence and abuse, and to make connections with others on the journey.

It also gave those who work in this field the opportunity to build networks and connections.

“Call to men” hui have happened before, albeit under different names.

The first was in 2012 which was called the Men’s White Ribbon Hui and was based in Tikitiki.

It focused on connecting men across the various anti-violence campaigns which included White Ribbon, It’s Not OK campaign, and the national network of Stopping Violence.

This inaugural hui provided the motivation to continue and the It’s Not OK Campaign funded a group in Taupō to hold a hui in 2013.

Unfortunately, they could not see it through, so the It’s Not OK Campaign approached Tauawhi Men’s Centre manager Tim Marshall and a friend of his, Pete Porter, to see if they could help.

This led to the first “A Call to Men” hui in Rotorua, which was attended by more than 80 men from all around the country.

“A Call to Men” is taken from an organisation in the US founded by Tony Porter, who was to be the guest speaker that weekend but unfortunately could not make the video call.

In 2015, four hui were in Northland, Huntly, Wellington and Christchurch.

Since then, more have been held here in Tairāwhiti at different marae across the region.

The programme at these hui is a pŌhiri, followed by whakawhanaungatanga which allows the men to share their stories and make connections. Guest speakers throughout the weekend share different kŌrero.

The speakers last weekend included Vic Tamati, Phil Paikea, Tricia Walsh, Te Aorangi Harrington, Stirling Halbert and Winton Ropiha of Te HŌkai Male Survivors Tairāwhiti, and Hine Whaanga-Kipa and Falon Hauraki from Mauria Te Pono.

Sam Troth, from The Road to Healing,  said it was a weekend he will never forget.

“New connections and friendships made for all and the message is loud and clear. It’s time for change.

“I always say sexual and domestic violence is a community problem that needs a community approach, and this is it — men and women with lived experiences stepping up to do what they can.

“I left inspired and hopeful,” he said.